I missed you once, I lost you once. Everything started at a time I was not prepared to accept what I was supposed to become. I wasn't ready at all to accept everything I had to face even if you helped me. I knew you were good to me but I didn't wanted the good to take part in my life. I knew you were going to go your own way because even when you care about someone, you're not supposed to accept everything this person does and everything I forced you to go through. You didn't deserved to support what I was going through this is why I decided not to be happy with you, and not to be happy at all.
As my life changed, it was kind of easy to forget you, I knew I wasn't forgiven, I guess I didn't deserved your forgiveness. You came back in my life when I came back to our town, because I decided to. I didn't even thought we were going to feel the way we did. I just looked at you and, dk, it happened. We spoke about it, seeing you feeling the same was a surprise. I wasn't really prepared to it. But I grew up. I was able to care.
I lost you again, because of you. You came once for good, I got you back a few months ago, we fell apart again. Today I know why I didn't wanted you at first, now I know why I want you now. I really miss you. It's been less than a week, and I already miss you. Says the girl who was afraid to love you less than you did. I'm sorry for missing my time everytime, this year because of my studies, because if I had the time we would have spent it together and today would be different for sure. I had to do it for me, but I made you wait again. And I regret it. Because it's all about time. Now I'm on the same situation as you were. I wait for you. Actually I'm not even able to tell you that because I'm not weak and because I'm not ready to open my mind and heart to you because I know how it can be hard to assume what I want to say, even more when I'm not sure you'll care. I just really miss you and our conversations, by the phone, at the library, everywhere you met me. I realized today how you felt. Because you had the time to wait and to be bored when I only had the time to work. You weren't occupied and I was as fuck. So I closed my eyes to everything out there. Included you. And I really am sorry about it.
I'm now slowly opening them when you closed yours to open it to someone else. But I want you back. I can't tell how much I want you back.
I'll try to put words on my situation. I'll try to send you something that will not upset you, make you afraid, but something that will make you understand, and make you come back.
I miss you Tom. I really do. Make a sign.